Goodbye 2014! A year to reflect on but thankful to see it end. While there were so many wonderful things that happened they have become shadowed by challenges and loss. It’s been difficult, to say the least, and questioning life’s direction and my own worth. Although events out of my control have forced change they are changes that I cannot get back.
Earlier this year I had to say goodbye to my father as he unexpectedly passed just before Father’s day. Although we spent most of my life apart as he lived in Florida I felt that I was very close to him. Much of who I am is grown from him. The best way I can honor him is to be the best father I can be, to the children that I am so fortunate to have in my life.
Did this loss knock me down? Sure it did. Why wouldn’t it? The question is if it made me better or worse? Knowing that a son can turn to his father when life gets you down is a bit of an unspoken truth. When that’s gone what do you do? You feel like the weight of the world crashes in on you. Taking on life’s challenges and responsibility’s the best that you can. But can you handle it? That I still need to learn. When my family riles on me to keep things going you fear what will happen if you fail, or are not there. It’s a basic need for Fathers and Husbands. “Are we good enough?” My answer to that is “YES! I am!” I have always done my best and will always be my best. I will make mistakes and I will mess things up but I will always try to fix things. Because THAT is how we honor the family we have lost.
Although the company I have been with for almost 10 years has been purchased it’s nice to know that I am safe. This created a lot of stress with so much uncertainty in the beginning and although there is a long road ahead my mind is at ease. That said 2015 will be a busy and interesting year with some new opportunities. Change is good in any career so you do not get stuck in a rut.
A year and a half of marriage but so many more years together. My wife is an amazing person! Hard working, wife, mother, student, artist… She has really done so much this past year that I could not be more proud. Mixing a family has its own challenges and although we might get overwhelmed I believe that we are great parents that only want what’s best for our children. Sure life can be hard but I love my Wife.
So 2014, I am getting back up and dusting myself off. 2015 I challenge you to do better!